Mike Barish Writer. Funny guy. Knower of things.

Chad never regretted giving Grandpa Max the broken life vest. The old man was overripe anyway.

The very first episode of Mike & Alex’s Travel Show is now live! iTunes subscriptions should be available later this week, meaning that you’ll be able to listen to future episodes on your iPods, iPhones, iPads and whatever else you use to take audio with you*.

For now, head over to the show site to give us a listen and please leave us some feedback. This is a work in progress. Heck, even Conan sucked when he started his first show and look how things worked out for him.

* Mike & Alex’s Travel Show is not available on cassette tape unless you press record on your boombox and hold it up to your computer.

The world is a scary place. Heck, even the Cold War is heating up (er, cooling off?) again with Russian spies being kicked out of the US. It’s becoming harder and harder to trust anyone, even your family. Here in the SkyMall Monday headquarters, I trust Calvin the Garden Yeti and no one else. In these crazy times, it’s best to find out all the information you can on those around you, lest they try to steal your possessions, kidnap your children or take over your life like that crazy lady from Single White Female. Covert ops are not just for TV and the movies. You need to take matters into your own hands and do constant reconnaissance to be sure that you stay one step ahead of your wife, boyfriend, babysitter, coworker or daughter. Thankfully, SkyMall knows that your paranoia is justified and that a tinfoil hat is not enough to keep you safe from the people who want to steal your thoughts. They have 89(!!!) different items listed in their “Under Cover” spy and surveillance section. If that doesn’t validate your decision to spy on your loved ones, then just do it because it’s fun! This week, we take a look at the top 10 pieces of spy gear in SkyMall.

Check out the Top 10 pieces of spy gear in SkyMall over on Gadling!

Word leaked on Twitter yesterday (in no small part due to my not so subtle hints) that Alexander Basek and I are launching a travel podcast. Mike & Alex’s Travel Show will focus on travel, news, pop culture and humor.

For more information, check out our official site, follow us on Twitter, be our friend on Facebook and listen to the show when we launch next week!

No one told Sven that black pants would be slimming on a man with such a pronounced buttocks.

Source: Widerøe Dash 8 400 Series Safety Card.

With summer in full swing, we’re all busy attending picnics, parades, baseball games and Renaissance fairs. The problem at all of those events, of course, is seating. Not just whether or not there will be a place to sit, but if that seating is deserving off housing your very important buttocks. You’re a big deal. Sitting on the grass simply is not an option for you. Using the provided seats is an insult. Bleachers? Bleachers are for average people. You’re special. You’re better than the riff raff waiting in line for corn dogs and funnel cakes. You have your corn dogs and funnel cakes delivered directly to you. You’re not part of the hoi polloi who wallow in their own peanut shell fragments. No, you’re above all that. And now you can physically be above it all. Thanks to SkyMall, you can elevate your stature and your person to show the masses that you are better than they could ever hope to be while also obstructing the view of those idiots who thought they had a right see anything. The next time you’re heading to that jousting tournament or checking out a double rainbow, be sure to pack your enormous Brobdingnagian Sports Chair.

Read the whole SkyMall Monday post on Gadling.

When the news needs a SkyMall expert, they call me. I was a guest on NBC New York’s Backyard Travel show discussing all things SkyMall. I demoed some products, explained the catalog’s mass appeal and tried to make LaGuardia Airport a happier place to be.

It’s not the first time I’ve appeared on a news show to discuss SkyMall.

It was at that moment that Tucker regretted never having slept with a black woman.

Source: Chautauqua Airlines Embraer 135/145 Safety Card.

An awful lot of attention is being paid these days to the dangers of texting and driving. Heck, even Oprah has a No Phone Zone pledge on her website. If Oprah’s covering it, it must be big. However, there’s a much more pressing issue facing drivers that is often overlooked. It destroys lives. It tears apart families. It creates awkward situations. I’m referring, of course, to food spills caused by driving while eating (DWE). SkyMall Monday is the only media outlet drawing attention to this critical issue. In our hectic work-a-day lives, the car is the last bastion of solitude, privacy and ambiance needed to enjoy a quality meal. Whether it’s a fast food hamburger, a shepherd’s pie or a steaming hot bowl of ramen, there’s simply no food that isn’t perfect for eating in the car. But what happens when that a-hole in front of you stops short and forces you to slam on the breaks? Your skirt steak quickly becomes steak on your skirt. You can’t go to work like that. That’s why you need to protect yourself and your loved ones who do your laundry. SkyMall understands how serious DWE is and answered America’s cry for help. From now on, when you’re considering DWE, be sure you also have The Drib.

Read the entire SkyMall Monday post on The Drib over at Gadling.

The Karate Kid was one of my favorite movies as a kid and, while it hasn’t necessarily aged well, it remains a must-watch whenever I stumble upon it on some oft-neglected basic cable network. However, save for a move from New Jersey to California, very few travel themes are covered in that film (unless you count Daniel learning about another culture thanks to Mr. Miyagi and his bonsai trees). However, when the much-anticipated (by me) sequel was released, we all got to stamp our cinematic passports as we traveled to Okinawa, Japan with our favorite All-Valley Karate Tournament champion. It was an adequate trip.
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