There are many perks to staying at a hotel. You get to crank the air conditioner without having to pay the electric bill. You can leave your wet towels on the floor and find dry news ones perfectly folded in your bathroom later. M&M’s are always close by (assuming you don’t mind the minibar price of $34.98 for a single-service bag). What often does bother me in hotels, however, is the beds. Hotel beds are a mixed bag, but I can usually count on certain things that always grind my gears, Here’s what bugs me most:

Tight Tuck
Is this the Marriott or the Naval Academy? If I have to break a sweat just to get myself into bed, something is horribly wrong. Loosen up, housekeeping…literally.

Throw (Away) Pillows
I’ve never understood the purpose of pillows on beds that are intended for anything other than sleeping. Sure, you want to prop yourself up to watch TV, but any more than two throw pillows is just clutter.

Beastly Bedspreads
What’s wrong with solid colors? Why are hotel bedspreads a celebration of geometric shapes, explosions of color and fibers that have entirely too much in common with sandpaper? I’ve seen Rorschach tests that stir up less hostility in my subconscious.

Not So Fresh & Even Less Clean
Things I don’t mind finding on my hotel bed: the room service menu, the TV remote and a mint. Things I do mind finding on my hotel bed: pubic hairs, stains and an empty mint wrapper.

What bothers you most about hotel beds? Have any horror stories? Dish the dirt in the comments.

Whether you’re in a hostel, hotel, apartment or friend’s house, being on the road requires you to be comfortable sharing beds (or couches, air mattresses, cots, etc). This isn’t sexual. This isn’t creepy. It’s just about saving money and maximizing space.

Get comfortable snuggling up next to a friend. Just remember: If you snore, you buy breakfast.