Ah, duty free. The tempting bitch goddess of travel. Do you suckle from her teat and satiate your desires for Toblerone and massive cartons of cigarettes made to look like large novelty packs? Or do you shun its earthly temptations and keep your luggage streamlined? There are some gems to be found in duty free, but there is plenty of craptastic nonsense, as well. Choose wisely, and your travels will be all the better.
Cigarettes – Good lord, how many coffin nails are you planning to put into your body? Will you be smoking them near me? Do you really need all of them right now? PASS!
Liquor – Liquor prices in duty free used to be phenomenal. The deals were so good you’d be stupid not to load up on the good stuff. Somewhere along the way, though, the prices stopped justifying having to schlep the stuff around. But now, The Macallan has gone and created the 1824 Collection of Scotch whiskey purely for duty free stores. And it’s delightful. So maybe it’s time for liquor to have a new heyday in duty free. Find the deals on good stuff and it will be worth your while. Plus, in the Third World, if you’re going to brush your teeth with a brown liquid, it might as well not be the one coming from your sink. BUY!
Perfume – Unless you’re an old Russian woman, you do not need a keg of that ass liquid that’s bound to make your fellow travelers dry heave at 35,000 feet. Put it down. Walk away. PASS!
Candy – It’s candy. Buy it. Only local stuff, though. Toblerone can be found at home. It’s really not that exotic. Be authentic. No one likes a duty free douchebag. BUY!
See, it’s not that hard. Liquor and candy. Your needs on the road really aren’t all that different from the ones at home. They’re just tax free.
